var joke = new Array (48);
joke[0]="Doctor! Doctor! Should I have kids after 35? <br> Dr: I think 35 kids might be enough.";
joke[1]="Doctor! Doctor! Everyone's ignoring me. <br> Dr: Next patient please.";
joke[2]="Doctor! Doctor! My eye keeps watering. <br> Dr: Here's my plumber's number.";
joke[3]="Doctor! Doctor! I'm not in my right mind. <br> Dr: Try using the left.";
joke[4]="Doctor! Doctor! My son is a dim wit. <br> Dr: Gee, I suspect it's inherited.";
joke[5]="Doctor! Doctor! I'm pregnant. <br> Dr: Pleased to meet you Pregnant";
joke[6]="Doctor! Doctor! My nose is running. <br> Dr: I think that's a healthy choice.";
joke[7]="Doctor! Doctor! How's my health. <br> Dr: You're in terrific shape for 70. Unfortunately you're only 30.";
joke[8]="Doctor! Doctor! Call me an ambulance. <br> Dr: Pleased to meet you Mrs.Ambulance.";
joke[9]="Doctor! Doctor! I have wind. <br> Dr: I know a great kite shop.";
joke[10]="Doctor! Doctor! I have a split personality. <br> Dr: Does your insurance cover both?";
joke[11]="Doctor! Doctor! I can't remember anything. <br> Dr: And how long have you had this problem?";
joke[12]="Doctor! Doctor! Is there anything that will stop my hair falling out. <br> Dr: The floor.";
joke[13]="Doctor! Doctor! I have no patience. <br> Dr: Could you repeat that?";
joke[14]="Doctor! Doctor! I feel like a pool ball. <br> Dr: Please wait your turn at the end of the cue.";
joke[15]="Doctor! Doctor! Got anything for athletes foot? <br> Dr: Sneakers.";
joke[16]="Doctor! Doctor! I can't read anything you wrote. <br> Dr: Don't worry, neither can I.";
joke[17]="Doctor! Doctor! Can I plead temporary insanity. <br> Dr: I'd say your selling yourself short.";
joke[18]="Doctor! Doctor! My ears are ringing. <br> Dr: Maybe try answering the door.";
joke[19]="Doctor! Doctor! I think I'm a vampire. <br> Dr: Come back later. Blood bank's closed.";
joke[20]="Doctor! Doctor! I'm so forgetful. <br> Dr: Hmmm. Try forgetting to forget.";
joke[21]="Doctor! Doctor! I can't stop gambling. <br> Dr: Choose a seat.";
joke[22]="Doctor! Doctor! I'm paralyzed. <br> Dr: Don't move, I'll be right with you.";
joke[23]="Doctor! Doctor! I can't spell a thing. <br> Dr: That's fine once you can spell everything else.";
joke[24]="Doctor! Doctor! I'm afraid of my brain surgery. <br> Dr: Oh it's nothing to lose your head over.";
joke[25]="Doctor! Doctor! I've got bad hemorrhoids. <br> Dr: So what's the bottom line?";
joke[26]="Doctor! Doctor! Can you prescribe a painless way to lose weight. <br> Dr: Try sleep walking.";
joke[27]="Doctor! Doctor! My face feels swollen. <br> Dr: Then stop stuffing your face.";
joke[28]="Doctor! Doctor! I can't sleep. <br> Dr: Of course not... try again when you're in bed.";
joke[29]="Doctor! Doctor! I'm vomiting my guts out. <br> Dr: No problemo, I'll stitch it back in for you.";
joke[30]="Doctor! Doctor! My wife treats me like a dog. <br> Dr: Sit.";
joke[31]="Doctor! Doctor! Can I catch a heart attack? <br> Dr: Yes, but you'll have to run very fast.";
joke[32]="Doctor Slang: Benign... <br> The year after you be eight";
joke[33]="Doctor Slang: Artery... <br> The study of fine paintings.";
joke[34]="Doctor Slang: Fibula... <br> A small lie.";
joke[35]="Doctor Slang: Coma... <br> A punctuation mark.";
joke[36]="Doctor Slang: Cesarean Section... <br> A posh neighbourhood in Rome.";
joke[37]="Doctor Slang: Cat scan... <br> Looking for lost kitty cats.";
joke[38]="Doctor Slang: Colic... <br> A sheep dog.";
joke[39]="Doctor Slang: Barium... <br> Done after a failed surgery.";
joke[40]="Doctor Slang: D&C... <br> Home of the White House.";
joke[41]="Doctor Slang: Cauterize... <br> Making eye contact.";
joke[42]="Doctor Slang: Dilate... <br> To live a long life.";
joke[43]="Doctor Slang: Impotent... <br> VIP famous person.";
joke[44]="Doctor Slang: Enema... <br> Haters, not your friend.";
joke[45]="Doctor Slang: Labor Pain... <br> Getting hurt at work.";
joke[46]="Doctor Slang: GI Series... <br> Military baseball season.";
joke[47]="Doctor Slang: Fester... <br> Quicker than normal.";

var randomNumber = Math.floor(Math.random()*48);
document.write(joke[randomNumber]);